Some days. I mean it. Some days my anxiety level goes up and down like a roller coaster, and my stomach feels like it rode one, too. Yesterday, for example:
Woke late, with sinus headache, after nightmares: high
I know better than to go back to bed when I wake near my regular time. I don't know what possessed me to go back to bed, but I paid dearly for it.
Drank coffee, concentrated on data entry for local politicos: med. high
Sinus headache started easing, but still painful; entering data is a tedious job, but it feels good to make a contribution. I kept thinking, though, about how I wouldn't be able to keep up the volunteer work when school starts. School - now that's another nightmare.
Showered, employed Neti Pot (apologies for that image): improvement. Lowered pain & anxiety
Between Neti and the steam from the shower, sinus headache finally eased significantly.
Lunch, noon news: low, somewhat relaxed
No news may be good news, but I still like to check in mid-day for the Ag Report. Just kidding. My favorite segment is really the PetSaver.
Ran errands to pharmacy & credit union: anxiety rising
Staff meeting looming at my new school; almost forgot to use my own bag at the pharmacy, I was that distracted.
Sent daughter to vet with rabbit: medium anxiety (routine visit)
But she was driving my minivan with the rabbit cage in the backseat, and paying with my debit card. Okay, I shouldn't worry. So I didn't. Much.
Killed time before staff meeting: anxiety rising higher and higher
This was my first staff meeting at my new school, my first staff meeting since going on medical leave. I was manufacturing stomach acid by the quart, if not the gallon.
Attended staff meeting: anxiety high, but stable
Introduced myself to new principal, participated in reconfiguration routine (don't ask, it's a routine procedure, but wickedly stressful for those changing grade levels).
The roller coaster analogy came to me as I put up my umbrella and walked the short distance home. My heart was still pounding, but my mind was listing all the reasons this was a good move for me. Good coworkers, escaping the bullies at my previous school, heading into a positive change. Maybe. Hopefully. Stomach acid subsided, and I went to meet a friend for soup and salad at our favorite family restaurant.
Then the anxiety level went up suddenly as I plugged in my laptop and the cord began sparking and smoking at a spot that had been spliced. Aargh!
Labels: depression, family life, teachers live at school