Thursday, July 08, 2010

No bladder left untested

It is a cruel, cruel world.

I needed an ultrasound to help figure out what's going wrong. If you're familiar with ultrasounds and uteruses (uteri?) you might know that these are done with a full bladder. According to those in the know, the full bladder makes it easier to distinguish the uterus and recognize what's in it. Hence, the pre-test instructions noted that for a 12:15 appointment, I was to empty my bladder at 11:00, drink 40 oz. of liquids between 11:00 and 11:15, and then refrain from emptying the aforementioned full bladder until after the test was completed.

Enter Teacher Bladder!! Educator humor always mentions teachers' superhuman bladders. I can look at the clock during class, register that I have 40 minutes until the recess bell, and say to myself, "No problem. I can hold it." An ultrasound shouldn't be any different. Or should it?

Well, I was nervous. Nervous about the tests and nervous about the potential results, although I hadn't yet admitted that to myself. Nerves + full bladder = added nervousness and an increased need to go.

Upon arrival at the clinic, I had to wait in not one, but two waiting rooms. Nervousness + waiting + full bladder = even more increased need to go.

After completing the final registration and getting my fashionable wristband, I had to walk past no fewer than two large, prominently labeled restrooms on the way to the radiology department. Oh, the torture!

Yes, I called on my inner teacher - in July. Now that's just cruel.

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Blogger Rebecca Ramsey said...

Hilarious, Daisy!
It's been so long since I've had an ultrasound that I forgot all about the torture of a full bladder. Oh my goodness. But I've found that my bladder strength withers when I'm away from school. Is school the anti-kryptonite for teacher bladders?
Hmm. Anyway, I'm glad I discovered your blog!

7/08/2010 7:38 AM  
Blogger Earth Muffin said...

Ah, the infamous teacher bladder to the rescue! Hope you get good news from your tests.

7/08/2010 9:35 AM  
Blogger margalit said...

The worst part? Once you've stretched your bladder to the outter limits, you end up with a stressed bladder for days.

7/08/2010 10:08 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Oh no!! I HATE the full bladder rule! It's like those appointments ALWAYS take longer!! Good on you - I used to have great control of my bladder...since kids not so much.

7/08/2010 12:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

During an ultrasound while I was pregnant the ultrasound tech actually let me go use the bathroom during it. Mine must have been too full to see what she needed to see.

7/08/2010 5:03 PM  
Anonymous Cindy Streams said...

Girl. I know EXACTLY what you mean. The teacher bladder comes in so handy. Glad everything came out all right. :o)

7/08/2010 9:17 PM  

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