(copied and only partially edited from a good friend's chain email)
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain
- Why the early bird gets the worm
- Life isn't always fair
- Maybe it was my fault.
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for expecting responsibility and respect in a school setting, teaching students manners, and refusing to accept that the dog might have eaten the homework.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement despite the self-inflicted nature of the injury.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his cousin, Common Courtesy, who was recently moved to Hospice Care.