Sunday, November 08, 2009

Typical autumn weekend chores, reality show style

Director: Ah, a beautiful autumn day.

Assistant: Who's that guy on the swing? What's he doing in the shot?
Daisy: That's Chuck. He lives here. I married him twenty-five years ago.
Assistant: Oh. Well, I'm going to check the weather forecast so we can plan the rest of the week.
Director: That's a lot of leaves. Shouldn't you have something powerful like a leaf blower?
Chuck: Who needs a leaf blower? Picks up rake and tarp, clears lawn in record time.
Director: Get the shot from a number of angles; watch out for shadows. It's really sunny. Is November always like this in Wisconsin?

Chuck and Daisy: laughter

Director: Make a note: when we edit this, show the before and after. Hey, wait a minute. What did you do with the leaves? Burn them?

Chuck and Daisy, to each other: Shake heads.

Daisy: It's like this. Most residents rake their leaves into the streets. City crews will pick them up, take dump trucks full of leaves to the brush dump, and pile them up to decompose there and become mulch. City folk can bring their own buckets in the spring to pick up free mulch.
But me? I spread a blanket - a thick blanket - of leaves on the garden. It'll insulate the soil and decompose into its own fertile mulch right here in my own yard.

Chuck, aside to director: Yes, she's a science teacher. She's channeling her inner Ms. Frizzle right now. Want to see where the rest of the leaves went?
Director: What's the picnic table doing upside down?

Chuck: It's weighing down the leaves and the cardboard barrier until the snows come. That's the new tomato garden. It's easier to set it up now than to dig and rototill the growing grass in the spring.
Assistant, running up to director: Did you see how much open space there is in the backyard? We could stage a weather balloon launch here!
Chuck and Daisy, shaking heads again: Let's sit on the swing. They might take a while to consider this one.

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Blogger Mocha said...

HA! This is a great scene. I want to watch this movie someday. But I do NOT want to help rake leaves and create a tomato garden. No sirree, no I do not.

11/08/2009 8:45 AM  
Blogger Over Coffee - the green edition said...

I love it! You crack me up.

11/08/2009 8:53 PM  
Anonymous cityslipper (home kitchen garden) said...

A big chunk of my planting bed is under a heap of leaves. Hadn't thought of the picnic table paper weight; nice touch! If we get snow to hold them in place, the leaves weather down to almost nothing by spring.

11/09/2009 8:52 PM  

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