Thursday, October 23, 2008

Dreams...dream, dream, dream...

Over and over, night after night, my dreams have had the same theme. It's a different location, different people, but always the same. A labyrinth of hallways, traveling here and there, steadily, quickly, sometimes alone and sometimes with a guide who knows the way. In last night's variation, it was actually a walled city of sorts or a ritzy parking garage, because I drove part of the way in a sporty little car. At one point I could see the outside, a large lake (Michigan? Green Bay?) in the distance, but I couldn't find the exit.
Saturday night the maze was a set of hallways in and under a hotel complex. I was leaving a restaurant and heading outside and a hotel staffer was helping. It seemed that was part of his job, like a bellboy or other customer service type person. Near the end, he got called away briefly (paged? cell phone? don't remember) and told me to wait. I didn't. I got lost again, within sight of the end.

Every night my dreams have included something like this. It could be work-related stress. Parent-teacher conference preparation, multiple meetings on the same day, turning down committee work that I know I'd enjoy because there simply aren't enough hours in the all creates an overwhelming feeling.
It could be family. Amigo's health issues are ongoing. We don't know what's causing his problems, and we expect news soon. Is that why I can almost see the exit? It reminds me of the light at the end of the tunnel turning out to be an oncoming train. I've forced the "What ifs" to be quiet, but that doesn't mean I'm done worrying.
Could these dreams also mean concerns for our country, the election and how it'll affect me and my loved ones? It may seem abstract, but it's not. The economic woes of the federal and state governments have a direct impact on my job. I have a job, a fairly secure one, but we're counting paperclips to keep to our budget, and it'll get worse before it gets better. Election results matter; not doubt about it. The Democrats must win and win big, or the families I work with will suffer even more than they are now.
The first night I had this dream, I woke up thinking the hallways represented Children's Hospital. The physical appearance of the halls made sense. But now that I've dreamt this a few more times in a few more variations, the book isn't as easy to read.
Maybe I need to make myself more comfortable within the walls instead of looking for the exit. Maybe if I focus internally instead of toward the external, I'll relax and find my way.
In the meantime, I'd better update my gradebook, make sure Amigo's prescriptions are in stock, and check on my campaign signs.
After all, it's better to do what I can than to stew over what I can't.

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