I am not making this up.
Last spring my daughter spent a long, cold night waiting for a good place in line at the grand opening of the local Love Sac store. She got (are you ready for this?) an 87% discount. She was kind enough to get a few things for the family with her discount, so we picked up the classic square PillowSac and its Rocker. This is the warning tag on The Rocker.
Improper use of this product may result in injury or death.
Do not jump on The Rocker projecting oneself through open space that is inherently dangerous and may cause injury or death.
Do not allow your children to play unattended on The Rocker -- better yet,
do not allow your children to play unattended at all.
Do not put any part of your body, including your entire body, underneath
The Rocker, especially when The Rocker is rocking. May result in injury or
Do not eat The Rocker or anything included with The Rocker, including, but
not limited to, nuts, b0lts, tags, cardboard, packaging, plastic bags, plastic
pieces, styrofoam, unpopped popcorn kernels, etc. Attempting to eat these
things may result in injury, death, or at the very least, discomfort while
passing these items through your digestive system from entry to exit.
Do not stand on The Rocker as this may result in injury or death.
Keep The Rocker away from heaters, burning cigarettes, or any open flame. May result in injury, death, or destruction.
(Hmmm. It doesn't say anything about rabbits....)